Feelings II
I swear I've written this entire post before. The sad thing is, I really haven't, but it feels like I ought to have about 8 times.
Feelings are weird. They tell us how to feel about things, and they guide what we think about. I can always remember my thoughts, bring them back to me, but feelings don't come back. Once they're gone, I can't make them come back, they have to come on their own.
In all reailty, this is probably for my benefit. It's better that way I suppose. This way feelings are sincere. We know that they come from a source, one stem making somebody feel the way they do, not some insane far away memory.
But for some reason unbeknowst to me, this bothers me. about 1 hour ago I was crying; officially crying. and now here I am. One warcraft game and a whole lot of Enya songs later, I'm not crying. I hardly feel the feelings I felt.
Why? it bothers me. Certain things happen, and I get this distinct feeling that I just want to let somebody know exactly how I feel about everything, I want them to know what I think, what I see, what I am, but I can't. For many reasons, I'm left sitting here, with that crazy desire right there, and no way to get rid of it. I want to write a book, speak all day in poetry, and let them know everything.
But it never happens, and it never will happen. Nobody will ever really know everything that I think, and everything I feel. It just isn't possible to throw my whole being into theirs. And for some reason that sucks.
But ya know what? The next morning, those feelings are gone. I go to bed, hardly believing that I haven't exploded from the feeling, and wake up just like every other day.
Sometimes I wish I could stop, and make things last. Life goes on, on and on. It never stops. I wish I could bottle up a moment, and never leave it. Let them know. But life has a way of keeping that from ever happening.
Feelings are weird. They tell us how to feel about things, and they guide what we think about. I can always remember my thoughts, bring them back to me, but feelings don't come back. Once they're gone, I can't make them come back, they have to come on their own.
In all reailty, this is probably for my benefit. It's better that way I suppose. This way feelings are sincere. We know that they come from a source, one stem making somebody feel the way they do, not some insane far away memory.
But for some reason unbeknowst to me, this bothers me. about 1 hour ago I was crying; officially crying. and now here I am. One warcraft game and a whole lot of Enya songs later, I'm not crying. I hardly feel the feelings I felt.
Why? it bothers me. Certain things happen, and I get this distinct feeling that I just want to let somebody know exactly how I feel about everything, I want them to know what I think, what I see, what I am, but I can't. For many reasons, I'm left sitting here, with that crazy desire right there, and no way to get rid of it. I want to write a book, speak all day in poetry, and let them know everything.
But it never happens, and it never will happen. Nobody will ever really know everything that I think, and everything I feel. It just isn't possible to throw my whole being into theirs. And for some reason that sucks.
But ya know what? The next morning, those feelings are gone. I go to bed, hardly believing that I haven't exploded from the feeling, and wake up just like every other day.
Sometimes I wish I could stop, and make things last. Life goes on, on and on. It never stops. I wish I could bottle up a moment, and never leave it. Let them know. But life has a way of keeping that from ever happening.
posted by CJThatcher at 10:11 PM
1 Comments:
who is that "somebody"? or is it just, a somebody in general. like, just anyone? or someone specific?
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